Being Responsible in Recovery

We have spent much of our lives running.  Now that we received alcohol addiction help, and started the addiction recovery process it is time we stopped running and started showing up. As we grow older the responsibilities also grow. As sober members of society we have a new set of morals. One, being that we honor the commitments we make to ourselves. Showing up and suiting up not only shows ourselves that we can be accountable but shows others that we are dependable.

 

Choosing Sobriety

We chose to get sober to live our lives free from the bondage of our alcohol addiction. If we are too busy avoiding our responsibilities what kind of life are we leading? As alcoholics we need tasks. We need to do things that make us feel accomplished. Showing up for those tasks might seem difficult but afterwards it feels great. Being responsible does not always have to do with the physical act of showing up but also taking responsibility in our interactions with others. With every situation comes positive and negative reactions.

 

Taking Responsibility

We must take responsibility and keep the side of our street clean. We must check our motives and our actions without taking other people’s inventory. When we mess up we must humble ourselves, see where we might have been wrong, and take responsibility for it. It is hard to humble ourselves when we are in the wrong because of our egos but when we take responsibility for our actions it is one of the most empowering things we can do for ourselves. Being responsible in all of our affairs will not only help us grow but it will also help us learn how to have respect for ourselves and those around us.

Early Sobriety and "Learning" Blind Faith

The idea of getting sober can be a scary thought. It is normal to have fear of the unknown especially when we are in the grips of our alcohol addiction. No one wishes to admit they have a problem or have to turn around and have blind faith in a thing they are not sure will work. After all, how do we know that it is worth it? How do we know that a 12 step recovery program or that drug recovery centers will work for us? The fact is that we practice blind faith in things on a daily basis. We never wonder if our blankets are going to keep us warm, our bath water will be hot, or if the sun will come up tomorrow. We have faith that these things will continue to happen without us having any control over it. We can apply this type of blind faith to our recovery. If we don’t ingest any mind altering substances, no matter the circumstances, we can guarantee that we will be able to stay sober. If we turn our will and our lives over to the care of a higher power, do the work, and change our behavior, our life will get better. If we amend our behavior and decide to no longer participate in self destructive behavior then we will become better people. Feelings are not facts. If we walk through our fears and stay sober despite them we will eventually be able to handle each situation regardless of how scary it may seem.

Staying Sober Through Good Times

The nights of drunken debauchery are over, we received alcohol treatment, and we are finally free from our alcohol addiction. What do we do now? Fun can be had in sobriety; there is a common fear for most people getting sober that living sober can’t be fun. This is nonsense! Having fun in sobriety is definitely possible. There are many options from fellowshipping after a meeting to having a sober get together for a game night to going to events hosted by sober companies. You just have to find good people who are interested in the same things you are.

 

Do What You Truly Enjoy

Now that you’re sober, trying new things can help you figure out what the real you actually likes to do. Want a good mellow night? Go to a local coffee house and play a game of cards with some friends.  There are several sober companies that host events that you can go too. Also, there are young people’s committees that take the time to plan and host events for you and your friends to go to. Getting involved in the addiction recovery process can also be a great way to meet like-minded people that are sober as well. We didn’t get sober to simply exist. We got sober to live life which includes cutting loose, having fun and make great memories. Make a list of things you’ve always wanted to try and cross some things off your bucket list. Enjoy every moment. Sobriety isn’t meant to be an end to having fun it’s supposed to be the beginning of living life to the fullest.

Life After Cloud Nine

Often times what ends up happening when we receive alcohol addiction help, and get sober is everything seems to get better, there are moments of pure bliss, and everything seems great. It’s almost like were high on life. This is often referred to as a pink cloud. It’s that time in sobriety when the emotional fog from years of battling with our alcohol addiction has lifted and everything seems amazing. These times come and go throughout our sobriety.

Staying Realistic and Being Prepared in Sobriety

While it is a nice place to be in it is also important that we prepare for the times that don’t seem so perfect. The longer we stay sober the more those feelings of elation are replaced with more consistent feelings of joy, peace, and happiness. It may seem disappointing when those elevated moods drop and that pink cloud dissipates but the fact is that when that happens it is a perfect opportunity to begin really working on ourselves. It is through doing the work, and going through the addiction recovery process that we can begin to heal from our past as well as build a foundation on which we can have long term sobriety. Its one thing to stay sober through the good times but it’s another to do the work and stay sober through the more difficult times. The more we are in tune with our reality the better the chances are that we will stay sober. If we build a life we love and work towards being the type of person we want to be there will be no need for pink clouds because being present in the moment and truly will be much more gratifying.

Worrying About the Future in Sobriety

What will the weather look like in 5 years? What about the exact moment you will find your dream job? What happens if you end up not getting that job and all of a sudden you find yourself in a financial mishap? Future tripping is a tendency that the alcoholic has mastered. One thought turns into a whole script for our future that we have written in our heads that causes us to panic and live in fear. Combine that with high anxiety and a fear of failure and you have a recipe for disaster. The future is not something we can predict as much as we think we can. Through going to a 12 step recovery program we are given tools to help us stay present. Prayer and meditation are two big tools we learn through the 12 steps of recovery that can help keep us grounded. Sometimes just standing still, and asking yourself “am I present or am I living in the future?” can help us stay present in the moment.

 

Redirecting Focus

If you find that you are living in the future it can beneficial to redirect your focus to the present moment. If you are consciously reminding yourself what you are doing in the moment, you’re not worrying about the future. Another way to stay present is doing relaxing and meditating exercises like yoga. Movement and focusing on your breathing is not only a good way to exercise, but it’s also a way to get some serenity and stay grounded. The future hasn’t happened yet, and we can only control our present actions. Live in the moment, because in the future when we look back on our lives all we will have are the memories we are creating today.

What Does "Living Life on Life’s Terms" Mean?

When we get sober it can be hard to live in acceptance at first. Things can come up that can be difficult to walk through. It is imperative that we learn how to live life on life’s terms. What this means is that we turn our will over to a higher power and learn how to take things as they come. If we are willing to accept things as being exactly how they are supposed to be in each moment we will be able to gain clarity and approach each situation with peace and dignity. Prior to receiving alcohol addiction help for our alcohol addiction, going through the addiction recovery process, and getting sober, most of us were used to trying to control every aspect of our lives. Most of us had become so isolated and spiritually bankrupt that there was no one else to turn to let alone a set of spiritual tools that we could use to help cope with each situation. When we get sober we learn that in order to have any real sense of power or control over a situation we must surrender, ask for guidance, and take action. As it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous “Faith without works is dead”. Therefore while it is important that we have faith and surrender, it is also equally as important that we take action. In recovery we get to find the balance between surrendering and taking action while living in acceptance.

Dealing With Stress in Sobriety

Just because we get alcohol addiction help and get sober does not mean that everything is perfect. It just means that we finally have tools to deal with things as they come up. In sobriety there are a number of things that can come up, from your car not starting when you’re running 20 minutes late, to a job interview, to your bank account being over drafted. Life can throw you curve balls. There will be times when you’ll want to rip your hair out or dwell on “what ifs”. Without the alcohol to calm the storm, what now? How do you deal with life’s ways of surprising you?

 

Relaxing During Stressful Times

Sometimes just breathing, sitting down, putting pen to paper and venting will relieve some of that tension. Get yourself to a meeting, and share about what’s going on. There will be someone there who is going through what you are, or has gone through it and can give you a different perspective.

Don’t be So Tough on Yourself

Stress is our reaction to being overwhelmed.  Pick something that makes you happy that you may or may not have done in a while and do it!  As alcoholics our minds are constantly racing. We can be our toughest critic. When we go through a 12 step recovery program we are given everything we need to be able to stay calm, cool, and collected in every situation. Through the 12 steps of recovery we can begin to deal with stressful situations while maintaining a sense of peace, and serenity.