What Does "Living Life on Life’s Terms" Mean?

When we get sober it can be hard to live in acceptance at first. Things can come up that can be difficult to walk through. It is imperative that we learn how to live life on life’s terms. What this means is that we turn our will over to a higher power and learn how to take things as they come. If we are willing to accept things as being exactly how they are supposed to be in each moment we will be able to gain clarity and approach each situation with peace and dignity. Prior to receiving alcohol addiction help for our alcohol addiction, going through the addiction recovery process, and getting sober, most of us were used to trying to control every aspect of our lives. Most of us had become so isolated and spiritually bankrupt that there was no one else to turn to let alone a set of spiritual tools that we could use to help cope with each situation. When we get sober we learn that in order to have any real sense of power or control over a situation we must surrender, ask for guidance, and take action. As it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous “Faith without works is dead”. Therefore while it is important that we have faith and surrender, it is also equally as important that we take action. In recovery we get to find the balance between surrendering and taking action while living in acceptance.

How to Give Yourself the Best Chance at Sobriety

With the alarmingly high relapse rate amongst people that are trying to get clean on their own, those of us that suffer from drug or alcohol addiction can use all the help we can get. Here are a few suggestions that can give you the best chance at getting and staying sober.

Treatment 

 

There are many programs such as drug rehab that provide a safe and peaceful environment in which people that are battling with their addiction can go and be given the tools needed in order to achieve sobriety, and work on themselves. 

Attending 12 Step Meetings

 

In these meeting people who have addictions can share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so that others can see that it is possible to recover. It is a great opportunity to not only meet new people that are on the same path but to also share with others the struggles you might be going through and receive feedback.

Making Friends with People that are in Recovery

 

Meeting people that have gone through the addiction recovery process and socializing with them can be a good way to learn about ways other people have recovered along with reaffirming your decision to be sober. Many of us have remained friends with people that we used to hang out with prior to getting sober but it can also be nice to meet people that we can go to meetings, and do sober activities with. It can be difficult at times to go to clubs, concerts, or other events where there might be drinking. Through teaming up with other sober people to go to these types of places/events you will be able to relax, have fun, and get through the night sober.

Love as a Drug

We all want to give and receive love. As alcoholics we can be really sensitive people at times and can also have a hard time showing and receiving love in a healthy manner. There are many reasons for this such as fear of commitment, love not being modeled to us as children, or fear of losing it. Some of us even go to the opposite extreme and can become addicted to love; partially due to our desire to feel better. And as a means to distract ourselves we can begin to use people and love as a drug in order to not have to deal with ourselves or things in our lives that are not acceptable to us. 

Focus on Yourself - You're Worth It!

We may think that if we are distracted then we won’t have to look at things that might be uncomfortable for us to look at. What we fail to realize is that even if we try to focus on people, places, and/or things, then the problems that we have will still be there when those people, places, and/or  things are gone if we don’t work on them. Through going to an alcohol treatment, AA, or drug addiction treatment and going through the addiction recovery process we can begin to work on ourselves so that we can begin to feel happily and usefully whole again. If we do the work on ourselves we will no longer need to find ways to alter our reality because we will have built a life for ourselves that we don’t want to escape. We will have learned how to love ourselves and in turn learned how to love others in a healthy way.

Struggling in Sobriety - Don't Give Up

For most of us that suffer from drug addiction or alcoholism we are all too familiar with the idea of struggling. Whether it is struggling with figuring out how we are going to get sober, or how we are going to get our next fix most of us are used to having difficulty with living life on life’s terms. As alcoholics prior to receiving drug addiction treatment most of us are constantly seeking elevated moods through material things or relationships. Some of us are under the impression that when we get sober that we don’t have to struggle anymore. While this is true in the sense that we no longer have to fight an uphill battle with our chemical dependency it does not mean that life stops happening or that we no longer have responsibilities. It is easy to get stuck with the mindset that because we were “good”, did the right thing, and got sober that we now deserve a reward or that things should be easy from here on out. What we fail to recognize is that we didn’t get sober to get things, we got sober so that we could recover from our seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It doesn’t necessarily matter what happens to us, it’s how we handle the situations that come up for us that help mold us into the people we are trying to become. It is our choice on how we cope with everything. As long as we are willing to do the work and stay sober we can be rest assured that we can overcome any hurdle with grace, dignity, & peace.

Dealing With Change and Loss in Sobriety

Just because we get sober and receive rehabilitation does not mean that everything is perfect. Life is still life. There are going to be ups and downs. Just like the good times pass so do the bad times. When we go to AboveItAllTreatment, AA, or alcohol centers we learn how to live life on life’s terms regardless of the situation. We get to learn how to stay sober no matter what. Alcoholics have a hard time when it comes to change or anything that brings up emotion for us. Losing a friendship, relationship, family, or job can all be things that we find unacceptable to us. These things that seem unfair are actually opportunities to grow and heal. Through the hard times we get to come out better people then we were before that experience. If we have faith that we will be okay no matter what, we will be able to hold our heads up, learn, and change. We get to strengthen our sobriety and learn how to handle situations that used to baffle us. We get the chance to learn that we don’t have to drink to start over and that feelings are not facts. Our feelings do not have to dictate our actions. We can act with dignity and grace regardless of how uncomfortable we feel. And we get to wake up and try to do a little bit better than we did the day before. All we can do is continue to try our best in any situation we encounter.

Changes

In life there will always be changes taking place. Prior to drug addiction detox, AA, or 12 step programs it may have been easy to ignore or dismiss these changes. Thanks to sobriety we now have clear minds and cannot just dismiss things when they are changing around us. Regardless of how big or small these changes may be it can still be difficult for us. Through going to AIA We are given the tools to help us to not become so overwhelmed with life. We now know that we can choose to talk to people to see what the next steps are that we should take. We can also attend a meeting to find a solution and remind ourselves how far we have come, as well as reach out for help from a fellow sober friend.  Try fellowshipping to get out of our own minds as well as choosing to embrace the new things that are happening in our lives by seeing what we can learn from these new experiences. The reality is that we no longer have to go through anything alone as long as we stay sober. The tools we are given can help us get through any hurdle. Life is in session, just because we are now sober does not mean that every day will be perfect. But regardless of what happens we no longer have to drink or use over it. Instead we can choose to live life on life’s terms, learn from our experiences, and continue growing towards becoming the person we want to be.