Worrying About the Future in Sobriety

What will the weather look like in 5 years? What about the exact moment you will find your dream job? What happens if you end up not getting that job and all of a sudden you find yourself in a financial mishap? Future tripping is a tendency that the alcoholic has mastered. One thought turns into a whole script for our future that we have written in our heads that causes us to panic and live in fear. Combine that with high anxiety and a fear of failure and you have a recipe for disaster. The future is not something we can predict as much as we think we can. Through going to a 12 step recovery program we are given tools to help us stay present. Prayer and meditation are two big tools we learn through the 12 steps of recovery that can help keep us grounded. Sometimes just standing still, and asking yourself “am I present or am I living in the future?” can help us stay present in the moment.

 

Redirecting Focus

If you find that you are living in the future it can beneficial to redirect your focus to the present moment. If you are consciously reminding yourself what you are doing in the moment, you’re not worrying about the future. Another way to stay present is doing relaxing and meditating exercises like yoga. Movement and focusing on your breathing is not only a good way to exercise, but it’s also a way to get some serenity and stay grounded. The future hasn’t happened yet, and we can only control our present actions. Live in the moment, because in the future when we look back on our lives all we will have are the memories we are creating today.

Building Self-Esteem in Recovery

We gain self-esteem by doing admirable acts. When we get sober most of us are used to having little to no self esteem left. We had been defeated by the years of destruction and pain that our drinking and drug addiction had caused us and others. Most of could not imagine getting to the place where we were able to love ourselves again. Most of us were stuck in a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body and did not know how to get out until we started the addiction recovery process, got alcohol addiction help, and got sober. 

New Start in Recovery

Over time we begin to right our wrongs and clean up the wreckage of our past. We begin to get honest with ourselves and others, and we become happy and usefully whole once again. We can begin to hold our heads up and look people in the eyes. We can begin to carry ourselves with dignity and grace. Others begin to see the change in us and we become the type of people that others can depend on. If we are willing to do the work on ourselves, trust in God, clean house, and work with others, we will be able to feel good about ourselves and our actions. We are all finite fallible human beings. There will be times when we fall short. That is to be expected. All we can do is move forward and continue trying to do the best we can do.

Recovering From a Relapse and Doing Things Differently This Time

Unfortunately as alcoholics and addicts, relapse is a part of many of our stories. While it is not always the case many of us have a hard time getting sober the first time around and can get caught up once again in our drug addiction. Relapse does not have to be a part of your story; but if it is it doesn’t mean that you are incapable of recovering.

Your Feelings are Normal

It is normal to feel beaten down, scared, and even more defeated after relapsing then you might have

prior to originally getting sober. Many of us feel like we have failed and have let ourselves and others down. Our ego usually takes a beating when we relapse. All we can do is be grateful for what we learned from the relapse and try to do things differently this time around.

Learn from Your Relapse

If we are able to look back at our experience and see where we fell short we can do things differently this time around. Perhaps we need to go through alcohol inpatient treatment, attend 12 step meetings, go to therapy, or seek extra alcohol addiction help. Whatever the case may be we all have the chance to recover if we keep trying, and don’t drink or use no matter what. If we are willing to put our sobriety first then we can begin to build a strong foundation for ourselves and our recovery.

How to Give Yourself the Best Chance at Sobriety

With the alarmingly high relapse rate amongst people that are trying to get clean on their own, those of us that suffer from drug or alcohol addiction can use all the help we can get. Here are a few suggestions that can give you the best chance at getting and staying sober.

Treatment 

 

There are many programs such as drug rehab that provide a safe and peaceful environment in which people that are battling with their addiction can go and be given the tools needed in order to achieve sobriety, and work on themselves. 

Attending 12 Step Meetings

 

In these meeting people who have addictions can share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so that others can see that it is possible to recover. It is a great opportunity to not only meet new people that are on the same path but to also share with others the struggles you might be going through and receive feedback.

Making Friends with People that are in Recovery

 

Meeting people that have gone through the addiction recovery process and socializing with them can be a good way to learn about ways other people have recovered along with reaffirming your decision to be sober. Many of us have remained friends with people that we used to hang out with prior to getting sober but it can also be nice to meet people that we can go to meetings, and do sober activities with. It can be difficult at times to go to clubs, concerts, or other events where there might be drinking. Through teaming up with other sober people to go to these types of places/events you will be able to relax, have fun, and get through the night sober.

Love as a Drug

We all want to give and receive love. As alcoholics we can be really sensitive people at times and can also have a hard time showing and receiving love in a healthy manner. There are many reasons for this such as fear of commitment, love not being modeled to us as children, or fear of losing it. Some of us even go to the opposite extreme and can become addicted to love; partially due to our desire to feel better. And as a means to distract ourselves we can begin to use people and love as a drug in order to not have to deal with ourselves or things in our lives that are not acceptable to us. 

Focus on Yourself - You're Worth It!

We may think that if we are distracted then we won’t have to look at things that might be uncomfortable for us to look at. What we fail to realize is that even if we try to focus on people, places, and/or things, then the problems that we have will still be there when those people, places, and/or  things are gone if we don’t work on them. Through going to an alcohol treatment, AA, or drug addiction treatment and going through the addiction recovery process we can begin to work on ourselves so that we can begin to feel happily and usefully whole again. If we do the work on ourselves we will no longer need to find ways to alter our reality because we will have built a life for ourselves that we don’t want to escape. We will have learned how to love ourselves and in turn learned how to love others in a healthy way.

Finding Work in Sobriety is Possible - How to Get Ahead

In this day and age it can be hard enough to find a job let alone admit we have a problem with alcohol addiction, decide to get sober, receive alcohol addiction help, and gain recovery from alcoholism on top of looking for employment. For many of us the search can seem exhausting. We can become easily discouraged when we don’t get an interview or a job offer. The fact is, now that we are sober we need to suit up and show up for life regardless of the outcome. We can do the things that we set out to do and reap the benefits. We never know what opportunities might present themselves if we are present and follow-through with the goals we make with ourselves and others.

One Day at a Time

It is understandable if you feel overwhelmed by the idea of having to go on a job search. We can take everything one day at a time and sometimes even one minute at a time. We don’t need to worry about the future. It can be easier for us in all areas of our recovery if we take everything step by step. If you are having a hard time writing a resume, cover letter, finding places, or with the interviewing process, just know that there are plenty of people in recovery that have gone through the same thing. Perhaps talking to people who have experience with the anxiety, difficulties, or fears of job hunting and asking them how they got through it can help. If we have people that are able to share their experience, strength, and hope then the idea of finding a job can begin to seem much more doable. Now go out there and start a path to your future!

Family Counseling and On-Going Support

Once we have received treatment for substance abuse and gone through the addiction recovery process some of us may need some extra support especially when it comes to repairing our relationships with our family. When we were out using many of us were wrapped up in our disease and suffered from the consequences of our actions. One of the biggest things that was destroyed for many of us was our relationships with family and friends. Most of us could not see past ourselves or our drug addiction. When we get sober we get the opportunity to repair these relationships and clean up the wreckage of our past. The hardest relationships to rebuild are usually with our family since they had seen it all. They not only had to put up with what we put them through but they also had to watch someone that they love very much go through hell. It can take time to rebuild the trust that has been lost over the years. Many of us had made empty promises time and time again and we have to earn that trust back. If there are still some things coming up for you or other family members that can’t seem to be worked out, then family counseling is a great option and a safe place to work through those struggles in order to have a happy and healthy relationship that works for everybody.  There is nothing like having family on your side to support you. It is possible to not only have a relationship with  the ones you love but it is also a chance to give back to the people that matter the most in your life.

Investing in a Relationship with Yourself

 Many of us when we first get sober and receive alcohol addiction detox don’t know much about our likes, dislikes, or who we truly are. Most of us were so caught up in our disease that we never really had the opportunity to grow emotionally or figure out what we were about. This can be a long process but it is well worth it. When we go to a recovery center, AA, or Above It All we have the opportunity to build a relationship with ourselves, figure out what our dreams are, and achieve them. We have the chance to learn what our likes and dislikes are, what we stand for, and how to love ourselves. We get to attempt the impossible and climb that mountain we’ve wanted to climb, jump out of planes, get that degree, or build that family we’ve always wanted. The sky is the limit when it comes to possibilities in sobriety. We get to dream big and live the life that we have always wanted to live as long as we continue to apply ourselves and work towards our ideals. Many of us have always had hopes and dreams even when we were using that we had given up on. Most of us were so stuck in our disease that our dreams never came to be, but now that we are sober, we are capable of picking up the pieces of our broken dreams and rebuilding them. We can do anything we set out to do as long as we put our sobriety first.