The Problem With Thinking You’re Different When It Comes To Addiction

For us alcoholics, thinking that we are terminally unique is second nature to us. Most of us get sober, go to a recovery program, and look for the differences rather than the similarities. Nobody likes to believe that they have an alcohol or drug abuse problem, therefore it is natural to think that maybe we are different, maybe we aren’t alcoholics or addicts, and do not need sobriety and recovery. Maybe we were just having a hard time or we were just going through a time of hard partying.

 

Denial In Addiction Doesn’t Change The Fact That We Are Indeed - Addicts

When we listen to people’s stories and think to ourselves, “well that didn’t happen to me”, what we are doing is feeding that part of us that is trying to deny that we have a problem. The fact is that it does not matter how much we drank or used and what happened to us. All that matters is the consequences, the fact that we did not like and/or could not control our using and that our using affected  our loved ones.

Letting Go, Admitting You’re An Addict And Recovering

You must be willing to say that you are an addict..that you have no real power over your addiction. If you’re willing to listen for the similarities rather than the differences then it might help put things into perspective. Maybe you didn’t hit as deep of a bottom then some or most but if you listen carefully, surely you can identify with the feelings of being bankrupt spiritually, helpless, and shut off from the world. While we might not have come to the place of needing to get sober the same way as another addict, the fact is that we are all in this together and for the same reasons. You can have hope in recovery!

What Are Your Trust Issues In Sobriety?

When most of us were getting sober we weren’t the most trusting or trustworthy bunch. It can be hard to trust others or ourselves when we had fallen so far down the scale. When we get sober most of us are used to having to take care of ourselves which doesn’t leave much room for us to learn to trust others or let a higher power into our lives.

Why It’s Hard for A Recovering Alcoholic To Trust

Learning how to trust others can be hard especially for the alcoholic who has a preconceived idea that people are untrustworthy usually as a direct result of our actions while we were out using and struggling with our chemical dependency issues. This lack of ability to trust ourselves and others usually stems from years of dishonest behavior and motives on our part. It is hard to believe that others are to be trusted when not only is our behavior questionable but most of us feel unsafe with ourselves both physically and emotionally as well. 

How A Recovering Addict Can Start To Trust

The only way to restore our faith in ourselves and others is to begin to change the things that need to be changed within ourselves by letting go and attending a 12 step recovery program and cleaning our side of the street up. When we begin to live with integrity, and respect as well as develop our own code of morals then not only will it be easier to trust in others but it will also be easier to handle situations when we are disappointed and feel that we or our fellows are falling short of our ideals. When we go through the 12 steps of recovery we can begin to be free without placing indignant demands upon others.

What Does "Living Life on Life’s Terms" Mean?

When we get sober it can be hard to live in acceptance at first. Things can come up that can be difficult to walk through. It is imperative that we learn how to live life on life’s terms. What this means is that we turn our will over to a higher power and learn how to take things as they come. If we are willing to accept things as being exactly how they are supposed to be in each moment we will be able to gain clarity and approach each situation with peace and dignity. Prior to receiving alcohol addiction help for our alcohol addiction, going through the addiction recovery process, and getting sober, most of us were used to trying to control every aspect of our lives. Most of us had become so isolated and spiritually bankrupt that there was no one else to turn to let alone a set of spiritual tools that we could use to help cope with each situation. When we get sober we learn that in order to have any real sense of power or control over a situation we must surrender, ask for guidance, and take action. As it says in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous “Faith without works is dead”. Therefore while it is important that we have faith and surrender, it is also equally as important that we take action. In recovery we get to find the balance between surrendering and taking action while living in acceptance.

Walking Through Fear With Faith In Recovery

When we were in the midst of our alcohol addiction most of us were used to living in fear. When we get sober does not mean this changes immediately. We fear the unknown, something that has happened, going to happen, or losing people, places, or things. Sometimes this is just par for the course on our journey through recovery. However, there are times that things beyond our control come into play and our deepest fears come to light. It’s at this point that we must turn to our higher power to pull us through. Things don’t always turn out the way we hope but all we can do is pray and know that there is a plan for us all. We may not know how things will work out but if we have faith in a power greater than ourselves then we will be able to walk through any fear that may come up for us.

 

Make the Choice

 Many of us choose to make the supreme sacrifice and go back to drinking rather than continue the fight. Through doing the 12 steps of recovery and going to an addiction recovery program we are given the tools we need to cope with situations that we couldn’t handle before. No matter how big or small the problem may be we never have to drink over it and we never have to go through anything alone ever again if we don’t want to. There are many people that are in recovery that will be happy to help if we let them. If we take everything a day at a time or even a moment at a time, then we can make it through anything.

Replacing One Addiction with Another

It is common for an addict to replace one addiction with another after going to an addiction treatment program, and getting sober and receiving treatment for substance abuse. A lot of times what happens is that we get recovery from our alcohol or drug addiction but we are still looking for something to act as a buffer between us and our feelings. These things can include but are not limited to smoking, sex, working, coffee, relationships, or shopping. As addicts we are used to seeking out elevated moods and trying to find external things to make us feel better, sometimes without even realizing it.

Developing Healthy Relationships

We sometimes forget that if we take care and continue to work on ourselves that the rest will fall into place. When we are centered and living life on life’s terms then we no longer need things to “fix” us. We can begin to develop healthy relationships with people, places, and things instead of relying on faulty emotional dependencies to make things better. When we are able to connect with our higher power we find that over time regardless of what comes up for us we can approach it with a sense of peace and serenity that most of us didn’t know was possible until we entered into recovery. When this happens we can begin to let go of the people, places, and things that are unhealthy and that no longer work for us. We can be free and we can live our lives without having to be addicted to anything!

Love as a Drug

We all want to give and receive love. As alcoholics we can be really sensitive people at times and can also have a hard time showing and receiving love in a healthy manner. There are many reasons for this such as fear of commitment, love not being modeled to us as children, or fear of losing it. Some of us even go to the opposite extreme and can become addicted to love; partially due to our desire to feel better. And as a means to distract ourselves we can begin to use people and love as a drug in order to not have to deal with ourselves or things in our lives that are not acceptable to us. 

Focus on Yourself - You're Worth It!

We may think that if we are distracted then we won’t have to look at things that might be uncomfortable for us to look at. What we fail to realize is that even if we try to focus on people, places, and/or things, then the problems that we have will still be there when those people, places, and/or  things are gone if we don’t work on them. Through going to an alcohol treatment, AA, or drug addiction treatment and going through the addiction recovery process we can begin to work on ourselves so that we can begin to feel happily and usefully whole again. If we do the work on ourselves we will no longer need to find ways to alter our reality because we will have built a life for ourselves that we don’t want to escape. We will have learned how to love ourselves and in turn learned how to love others in a healthy way.