What Are Your Trust Issues In Sobriety?

When most of us were getting sober we weren’t the most trusting or trustworthy bunch. It can be hard to trust others or ourselves when we had fallen so far down the scale. When we get sober most of us are used to having to take care of ourselves which doesn’t leave much room for us to learn to trust others or let a higher power into our lives.

Why It’s Hard for A Recovering Alcoholic To Trust

Learning how to trust others can be hard especially for the alcoholic who has a preconceived idea that people are untrustworthy usually as a direct result of our actions while we were out using and struggling with our chemical dependency issues. This lack of ability to trust ourselves and others usually stems from years of dishonest behavior and motives on our part. It is hard to believe that others are to be trusted when not only is our behavior questionable but most of us feel unsafe with ourselves both physically and emotionally as well. 

How A Recovering Addict Can Start To Trust

The only way to restore our faith in ourselves and others is to begin to change the things that need to be changed within ourselves by letting go and attending a 12 step recovery program and cleaning our side of the street up. When we begin to live with integrity, and respect as well as develop our own code of morals then not only will it be easier to trust in others but it will also be easier to handle situations when we are disappointed and feel that we or our fellows are falling short of our ideals. When we go through the 12 steps of recovery we can begin to be free without placing indignant demands upon others.

Building Self-Esteem in Recovery

We gain self-esteem by doing admirable acts. When we get sober most of us are used to having little to no self esteem left. We had been defeated by the years of destruction and pain that our drinking and drug addiction had caused us and others. Most of could not imagine getting to the place where we were able to love ourselves again. Most of us were stuck in a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body and did not know how to get out until we started the addiction recovery process, got alcohol addiction help, and got sober. 

New Start in Recovery

Over time we begin to right our wrongs and clean up the wreckage of our past. We begin to get honest with ourselves and others, and we become happy and usefully whole once again. We can begin to hold our heads up and look people in the eyes. We can begin to carry ourselves with dignity and grace. Others begin to see the change in us and we become the type of people that others can depend on. If we are willing to do the work on ourselves, trust in God, clean house, and work with others, we will be able to feel good about ourselves and our actions. We are all finite fallible human beings. There will be times when we fall short. That is to be expected. All we can do is move forward and continue trying to do the best we can do.

Learning to Let Go of Being in Control

Many of us even after going to alcohol and drug rehab still want to run the show. There is a part of us that have a hard time with surrender and giving up control; but if we hold on to the problem so tight and don’t let our higher power in then we are shutting ourselves off from other possibilities. We need to be able to see that we may not always know what is best for us and that there are an infinite number of solutions to every problem. If we have not come up with a solution to the problem then it is usually because there were not enough people involved. Through going to Above It All, AA, or other 12 step programs we can begin to let go of our black and white thinking and see that if we have faith and rely on a power greater than ourselves then things will work out fine even if we don’t know how. It only takes one thing changing to have an entirely different experience. Whatever the situation may be we can be sure that we can get through it sober. Many of us drank to escape. We don’t have to do that anymore. Instead, we can create a life we don’t want to escape from. We can build a life beyond our wildest dreams. We can sit through the discomfort that comes from uncertainty and we can learn to accept things as they come.

Would You Rather Be Right or Would You Rather Be Happy?

Even after we go to Above It All Treatment Center, AA, or alcohol centers  we can still be stubborn as alcoholics. Many of us have a hard time letting go of the need to prove we are right or that we were treated unfairly. But what we fail to realize in the meantime is that we are sacrificing our happiness in order to be “right”. Most of us are hell bent on having people see “our side” of things that we forget that what we truly want is to just be happy. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the details that we miss out on the beauty of life. We have to ask ourselves what good it does us to have the final say, the last word, or the knowledge that we have “won” an argument when we are still left discontent. Through sobriety and receiving rehabilitation we learn that everyone has the right to be wrong. We can begin to see that everyone is doing the best they can in that given moment and just because our truths or realities resonate with us does not mean that they are other people’s truths or realities too. If we continue to keep our side of the street clean, allow others to be themselves, and cease from fighting people, places, and things, then we can be free and have a sense of peace and serenity that we never had before we got sober.

Keeping Your Word

For most of us our word did not mean much to people before we sought help through Above It All Treatment Center, AA, or alcohol centers. We could never be counted on or be trusted. Now that we are sober we are able to show up for our loved ones and do what we say we are going to do. It's important that we keep our word whether it is taking a commitment at a meeting, or making a commitment to ourselves that we will stay sober. When we say we will do something we must follow through. This does not just apply to our meetings, but in every part of our life. If we say we will do something, we need to get it done. We get self-esteem by doing admirable acts. Now that we are dependable we can begin to see how these obligations are gifts of our sobriety.  With the tools we are given we are able to change our lives and be the friend, daughter, son, mother, father, and functioning members of  society that we never had the chance to be before going to treatment and getting the addiction rehabilitation we needed. Keeping your word in every aspect of your life is imperative when it comes to staying sober.  We spent days, months,   or even years not living up to our word. Now we get to show up and see what we can pack into the stream of life rather than what we can take from it.